11-29-2007, 01:51 PM
Meet Fred. 
Fed has trouble with 
He'd love for it to be all 
s and 
s, but most of the time 
is more like 
. His friends all tell him 
that its a no brainer 
but he feels like it 
him. He just doesn't know what to say to a girl. He'll think he has an 
Fed has trouble with He'd love for it to be all s and s, but most of the time is more like . His friends all tell him that its a no brainer but he feels like it him. He just doesn't know what to say to a girl. He'll think he has an 
and the girl's response is often 
. Fred would love nothing more than to find a nice 
to 
and maybe 
so they could have a couple 
. He 
at night for this to happen, but he has a feeling that God and the Devil are playing with his mind 
. Women's responses to him inevitably are the same, but come in different forms. Some women are like 
. Others, take offense and 
.
Others are way into the whole 
thing. A few go from 
to 
. It 
him. Women willl become insulting towards Fred 
, or will go homicidal 
. Some just are crazy fat 
... Fred feels somehow this is his fault. He has tried changing his looks 
... 
.... 
.... 
.... 
.... The plastic surgery bills had no effect. He tried hanging out with different crowds.... 
.... 
.... 
.... 
.... 
... 
.... 
... That didn't work so well either. Fred is 
he'll end up having to 
his own balls forever. All he wants is 
instead of 
. I mean, its pretty tough when the first time a gal sees you, she 
. Or just stares at you 
. So he 
some and thought to try online dating.... 
That wasn't the best idea. he found women who 
to 
... Women who outdrank him 
, women who were 
, men who thought he was sexy 
, women who liked to 
. He found women who owned thirty 
s, women who smelled like 
, women who made his dog run away 
... women who had 
s, even old 
s. Women who lived off in fantasy worlds 
. Of course his reaction was 
. It made him want to 
Even he has his standards. 
All this searching was killing Fred 
. He never knew there were so many choices. If only there was a way to narrow it down to the perfect girl. Fred felt he was searching for the unattainable 
. So, after some therapy, and a lot of 
, Fred devised a plan 
He was gonna pick a girl 
that he thought would be a good match 
. Then he was either gonna pay her 
, spike her drink 
, drug her up 
, or 
her 
until they got to the chapel. Once married, Fred would be on 
. Fred's life was looking up. 
Awesome!